Parrots aren't "Pets" and Shit

The only animals that are "pets" are dogs and cats. Period. So says the lease agreements for every "pet-friendly" apartment I talked to yesterday. Now I understand that many birds can be loud shriekers, but dismissing all birds out of hand is narrow-minded, considering that many dogs can be loud barkers. They would deal with loud dogs by kicking the offending owner out, or whatever, and I don't see how birds can't be evaluated on the same case-by-case basis. I can't see how it could be a cleanliness or odor issue, because I guarantee that a day's worth of unattended bird shit smells way way less than a day's worth of dog or cat shit left in an apartment. I know for sure that if you got even a little dog shit on your clothes, People. Would. Know. Rigel occasionally targets my clothes, and I take a damp paper towel to it and presto! no smell or stains.

Bonus, people outside the property won't step in a pile of (pet) bird shit while walking around. Asshole dog owners!

Further, dogs shed nasty mangy fur, which also stinks stinks stinks. My parrot sheds pretty, lovely feathers, suitable for crafting. Birds possibly chew on mini blinds? So? We had a dog once who CHEWED A HOLE IN OUR WALLS!

There is a silver lining, though. The apartment I really really wanted has a sign at the front desk: "We are a pet free community."

I was highly disappointed, and I pouted: "but he's just a little bird..."

Well, then that's another thing, birds and fish are FINE! They aren't considered pets, after all.


I move in tomorrow, no pet deposit!
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