Monday, June 23, 2008

Story So Far....

One more time.

I just wrote one long, drawn out post about my breakdown on the Kansas Turnpike. And then had to write it again, shorter, and now again, because I am a computer genius.


*POP* battery light dammit! SMELL oh shit! SMOKE no fucking way!!!!!!!

Minor Freakout, costly repair. There goes my drinkin' money.

Traci's husband, Kevin picked my up from the mechanic. We arrived at Ft. Rielly after midnight, and the gate guard gave us an odd look. Kevin did not understand. Yeah, a soldier coming in, late at night with someone else's dependant spouse, that doesn't raise any eyebrows.

I stayed there, as planned anyway, until my car was ready, and then continued on to Becky's.

There was pizza and beer and electronic Life. We biked down to the water park yesterday. Alan tried to kill me challange me, by taking us up the steepest possible hill on the way back.

I'm hanging out in St. Joe today, while they are at work.

I'm bored.

Call Me!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Summertime Bath

We went to the park today, while the apartment aired out. I took him in the big cage, and put a water dish in the bottom. If I had known he would try to bathe in it, I would have taken the big blue plate.

My voice makes me cringe. Yes, I do talk to him all the time, just like that. I tried to edit out as much as possible, but it is sooo hard to not tell him how cute he is. I mean really.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Spend another hour cuddling with my feathered monster.

Spend a few hours de-cluttering and extra-cleaning my apartment, because they are sending the exterminators TOMORROW. I'm so frackin' powerful.

Tomorrow: Go around, with Rigel in his carrier, taking pictures of the complex to show off to my family and friends. This place rocks.

Thursday: Drop Rigel at the old apartment and start out on my 12 hour drive to Atchison to visit with Becky and Co.

I'll stay there until next Thursday or so, with a little jaunt over to Fort Riley to visit the Johnson's, then over to MO to stay at Amanda's and visit with all the rest of my friends and family. The ones I like, anyways. At some most points, there will be alcohol, games, photographs and explosions. Just like old times.

Then Mom and I will drive back to Texass, and she will drive back with the car, and I will pedal my way to and from school.

Everything's Bigger in Texass

(they say that like its a good thing)

Oh my goodness! Oh no frickin way! Ew Ew Ew!!!

Yeah, a big one, in my bathroom, in the middle of the night. Hideously big and healthy (if you can call a giant roach* healthy), stalking me from the bathroom light switch. If I had not just peed... After several minutes of whimpering, I steeled my courage and rushed past it, out the bathroom door to retrieve whatever weapons of cockroach doom I could find. This ended up being a large wad of paper towels and a can of compressed air. I blew it off the wall, cornered it, and then held the air upside down and emptied half the can on the little....*insert string of profanities unsuitable for birdboard* until it was frozen or gassed, whichever killed it first. Yes, I could have stomped it with a shoe, but the only thing worse than a live roach is a squished dead one, guts everywhere, no thank you!

There's a question or three here, of course.

Besides the quarterly pest treatments, taking out the trash nightly, plugging the drains, and keeping all food in sealed containers, what else can I do to prevent these nasties? I lived at the old place for 1 1/2 years without a single one!!!

Can these things harm Rigel?

Do food and water containers exist that are less likely to draw the attention of a hungry, nasty critter to my bird's cage?

I will NOT consent to calling it a harmless "water bug." Nuh-uh! Nas-tay!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Ow! *pouts*

Let's ignore any mention of my* marriage or divorce, for now, okay?

Moving on.

I left Rigel at the old apartment while I was moving. It was important to me that he arrive at the new place when it was uncluttered, and full of furniture and such that he was familiar with. I also wanted to do some heavy cleaning, and get a feel for the noises of the place.

Turns out, the walls are thinner, the neighbors a bit noisier, but the grounds maintenance isn't all *BANG BANG HAMMER SAW MOWER STEAM CLEANER LEAF BLOWER* all the time, and the TV isn't on as much or as loudly. So, on balance, this place is a bit quieter, but not eerily so. Except the air conditioner, which clearly works, and could double as an airplane engine, I'm sure.

The first night and the entire next day he was sweet as sugar, honey, and caramel put together. He spent most of the time snuggled in my shirt. Adorable x1000. I'm sure he was looking for something familiar and secure, my widdle lovie dovie birdie. He munched happily on bell pepper and cherry, after an incident with an entire newly-opened bag of pellets infested with some tiny critters.

Today, not so much. I've been bitten at least a dozen times. I've bled, uh, something like 4 times. I've lost count. Looking for security is over, and he blames me for this unacceptable amount of change (it's been a day for that). He's flown at me in a rage, squawking and attempting to bite my neck. I've taken to picking him up with a tea towel or a few paper towels. He lunges at every opportunity, only tolerating petting on his forehead, and only if he is wrapped in a towel, powerless to object.

He is not a happy burrito.

I finally escaped at 5-ish to the laundry room, racked with guilt at leaving him alone, hoping to find a solution online. I failed at the free wireless that was supposedly accessible from the laundry room, but returned with clean clothes a few minutes before birdie bedtime. I spotted a black winter glove...and had a thought. Surely, it would scare him? Surely, he would attack it?

Friends, he loves that glove more than he loves me. (seems to be a pattern this week) It is a comfier perch than a bare hand, and it doesn't object to being bitten, even gnawed. (again, a pattern....hmmmm). Right now, the plan is to handle him with the glove, for both our safety (its hard to control your reaction to bites. I try, I promise, but I am far less than perfect. As you may have heard...). Later, whenever the MONTH LATE PACKAGE FROM BIRDBOARDSHOP.COM** ever arrives, I will begin clicker training. He needs entertainment and enrichment, I know that is the problem. Then I will train him to not bite the glove, as if it is my hand, and then train him off the glove.

Yeah, that's the plan.

*Mine and mine alone, really, because I paid for not only the wedding rings whatever-number-of-years-ago, but also the $230 filing fee for the divorce today. M'kay. I resist the urge to rant on...
**Yes, dear internet commerce folks, it has STILL not arrived. I SORT OF understand that the order got lost behind a desk, and you're just starting up, and these things happen. But it has now been over a week since you said it would arrive, and I deserve something more than a $10 or 10% coupon, or whatever.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Parrots aren't "Pets" and Shit

The only animals that are "pets" are dogs and cats. Period. So says the lease agreements for every "pet-friendly" apartment I talked to yesterday. Now I understand that many birds can be loud shriekers, but dismissing all birds out of hand is narrow-minded, considering that many dogs can be loud barkers. They would deal with loud dogs by kicking the offending owner out, or whatever, and I don't see how birds can't be evaluated on the same case-by-case basis. I can't see how it could be a cleanliness or odor issue, because I guarantee that a day's worth of unattended bird shit smells way way less than a day's worth of dog or cat shit left in an apartment. I know for sure that if you got even a little dog shit on your clothes, People. Would. Know. Rigel occasionally targets my clothes, and I take a damp paper towel to it and presto! no smell or stains.

Bonus, people outside the property won't step in a pile of (pet) bird shit while walking around. Asshole dog owners!

Further, dogs shed nasty mangy fur, which also stinks stinks stinks. My parrot sheds pretty, lovely feathers, suitable for crafting. Birds possibly chew on mini blinds? So? We had a dog once who CHEWED A HOLE IN OUR WALLS!

There is a silver lining, though. The apartment I really really wanted has a sign at the front desk: "We are a pet free community."

I was highly disappointed, and I pouted: "but he's just a little bird..."

Well, then that's another thing, birds and fish are FINE!
They aren't considered pets, after all.

I move in tomorrow, no pet deposit!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Well, that settles it!


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

Take the test!

Our Sergeant Major

I just found out about the death of one of my high school mentors. From the online guest book entries, I see he went with the same humor and dignity in which he lived.

Sgt. Maj. Richard A. Paquette

Thursday, June 5, 2008

How Existential!

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
You scored as a Existentialism
Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
--Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”
--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...


Justice (Fairness)


Strong Egoism




Divine Command


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

More Pictures

Here's my new ride:

And a little bit of Rigel.

Sunshiny Day

For Sale

1997 Ford Taurus in Good Condition

Color: Maroon (or some reddish whatever)
Doors: 4
Mileage: 121,000
Gas Mileage : 20 mpg City / 28 mpg Hwy
Engine: V6 3.0 Liter
Transmission: Automatic
Drivetrain: FWD
Air Conditioning
Power Windows
ABS (4-Wheel)
AM/FM Stereo and Cassette
Power Steering
Tilt Wheel
Dual Front Air Bags
Cruise Control
Power Seat

Available on 30 June in Missouri, or 7 July in Texas.

I'm planning on driving up to MO and then taking the bus back to TX if I sell the car while I'm home.

**Update** Here's some pictures!
Car 1Car 2

Car 3Car 4

Tuesday, June 3, 2008


I ordered many new things for Rigel online a few weeks ago, and I e-mailed them to say WTF DUDES?!!?(nicely) Turns out, the order fell behind someone's desk and they just found it. I get a 10% off (or was it $10?) coupon, and it will be here by Friday. I just say, the Clicker Training stuff and fun toys cannot get here soon enough! squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack squack Poor birdie is sooo bored!

Oh yay! I just realized today is Tuesday, not Wednesday, and I have one more day to clean my house for the bug spray people. I love those people.

I'm tired, despite doing nothing at all yesterday and getting 8 hours of sleep.

Yes, I am really selling my car. Please buy it. Please.