Monday, June 16, 2008

Ow! *pouts*

Let's ignore any mention of my* marriage or divorce, for now, okay?

Moving on.

I left Rigel at the old apartment while I was moving. It was important to me that he arrive at the new place when it was uncluttered, and full of furniture and such that he was familiar with. I also wanted to do some heavy cleaning, and get a feel for the noises of the place.

Turns out, the walls are thinner, the neighbors a bit noisier, but the grounds maintenance isn't all *BANG BANG HAMMER SAW MOWER STEAM CLEANER LEAF BLOWER* all the time, and the TV isn't on as much or as loudly. So, on balance, this place is a bit quieter, but not eerily so. Except the air conditioner, which clearly works, and could double as an airplane engine, I'm sure.

The first night and the entire next day he was sweet as sugar, honey, and caramel put together. He spent most of the time snuggled in my shirt. Adorable x1000. I'm sure he was looking for something familiar and secure, my widdle lovie dovie birdie. He munched happily on bell pepper and cherry, after an incident with an entire newly-opened bag of pellets infested with some tiny critters.

Today, not so much. I've been bitten at least a dozen times. I've bled, uh, something like 4 times. I've lost count. Looking for security is over, and he blames me for this unacceptable amount of change (it's been a day for that). He's flown at me in a rage, squawking and attempting to bite my neck. I've taken to picking him up with a tea towel or a few paper towels. He lunges at every opportunity, only tolerating petting on his forehead, and only if he is wrapped in a towel, powerless to object.

He is not a happy burrito.

I finally escaped at 5-ish to the laundry room, racked with guilt at leaving him alone, hoping to find a solution online. I failed at the free wireless that was supposedly accessible from the laundry room, but returned with clean clothes a few minutes before birdie bedtime. I spotted a black winter glove...and had a thought. Surely, it would scare him? Surely, he would attack it?

Friends, he loves that glove more than he loves me. (seems to be a pattern this week) It is a comfier perch than a bare hand, and it doesn't object to being bitten, even gnawed. (again, a pattern....hmmmm). Right now, the plan is to handle him with the glove, for both our safety (its hard to control your reaction to bites. I try, I promise, but I am far less than perfect. As you may have heard...). Later, whenever the MONTH LATE PACKAGE FROM BIRDBOARDSHOP.COM** ever arrives, I will begin clicker training. He needs entertainment and enrichment, I know that is the problem. Then I will train him to not bite the glove, as if it is my hand, and then train him off the glove.

Yeah, that's the plan.

*Mine and mine alone, really, because I paid for not only the wedding rings whatever-number-of-years-ago, but also the $230 filing fee for the divorce today. M'kay. I resist the urge to rant on...
**Yes, dear internet commerce folks, it has STILL not arrived. I SORT OF understand that the order got lost behind a desk, and you're just starting up, and these things happen. But it has now been over a week since you said it would arrive, and I deserve something more than a $10 or 10% coupon, or whatever.

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