Monday, December 31, 2007

I have returned...bleh...

So after a long vacation which consisted mostly of bonding with all my different friends over our various version of the same Issue, I have returned to Texass.

It snowed most of the time I was home, 10 inches in one day and then more through the week. Damn Missouri weather for making me appreciate Texass. Damn Texass.

My guys missed me, they've been very cuddly. I got a manicure/pedicure, and the birdie got a new bag of food.

I almost didn't come home from Killeen until tomorrow, but decided I wanted to fall asleep in my own bed. So on the night when the ENTIRE WORLD is at a party, I have nothing to do but drink leftover Boone's Farm and watch TV.


I'm going to bed.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Vacation News

Sorry for not keeping you up to date on my lively vacation.

We left Killeen at about 2pm on Thursday, and arrived in St. Joe at about 2am. Good times. The weather and traffic were good until we hit soupy fog leaving Atchison.

I got Amanda hooked on Battlestar (Victory is Mine!). Also, mixing spiced rum with mango wine coolers does not result in a "Bahama Mama" experience. Mostly just getting sick. Sorry 'bout that.

We had turkey and sage stuffing and pumpkin pie at Mom's a few days before xmas. That was the good part. Um. Yeah. Gotta love family. Mostly.

The weather has been crap. So, I've spent most of my vacation watching movies, eating stew and potato soup (mmmm) and drinking a bit. We glutted on dark chocolate brownies and Irish Coffee last night.

Here are the movies so far, all of which are good, most of which I've seen before.

BSG Miniseries (plus episodes 1-3, but I was to woozey to watch the screen for 4-8)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Bourne Ultimatum (at Mom's)
28 Days (check out my huge package!) (I am never going to get laid)
28 Days Later
Waitress (I'd like a Nathan Fillian pie, please)
X-Men 1 (one word...Wolverine)
X-Men 3 (say it again)
Batman Beyond (the guy who plays Scarecrow was in 28 Days Later)
Children of Men
Blood Diamond
I think there was more, but my memory is a bit foggy...
Tentative plans are for bowling tonight, if the weather holds and any of my friends have checked their facebook email....Rebecca.... We're leaving MO on sunday around noon, forecast says no snow. Figures.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Movie Review: I Am Legend *spoiler*

Overall, I liked the movie. It felt like something was missing, but I'm not sure what, so that's not a very good criticism. Ha.

It had lots of tension, lots of emotional impact, lots of weird screaming vampire-zombies. Will Smith's character once again manages to be The Perfect Man. He hunts, farms, traps zombies, military officer, genius scientist, loves his dog as an extension of his dead wife and daughter. Somehow the dog had to be revealed as a girl (Sam is Samantha), as she was dying and becoming a zombie/vampire dog, in order to drive that point home.

Of course, I couldn't be fully emotionally "in the scene" at that point because of the crying 8 year old behind me. "He's dreaming, right? Its just a dream? Why did the puppy have to diiieee??!?!?!" I was tempted to turn around and tell her the truth: the doggie died because your parents are too stupid to read ratings, it is all their fault the doggie is dead."

Bed For Sale $130.00

Condition: bought new and used for less than a month.

Medium Softness Twin Mattress.
Box Spring
Basic Twin (extends to Full) Frame.
Deluxe Mattress Pad
Ralph Lauren fitted sheet.

I will not ship, you must pick it up.
Payment by Paypal prior to pick up or by cash at time of pick up.

Saturday, December 15, 2007


So I have to be in this shithole town for the next 5 days, with no work or school to keep me occupied. I'm pretty sure I'm going to crack any minute now.

And of course, I'm way too damn embarrassing to be taken out in public...wev...

Friday, December 14, 2007

Not Exactly News:

British Literature: A

There was a pretty good meteor shower last night. We went out, but left too early so we were freezing our bums off waiting for the "peak time" to start. We saw quite a few, but decided to come home early.

Holiday Party Happy Hour starts in 3 hours, and I must find shoes.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


After this morning's English FINAL WAS OVER, I sat around for the rest of the morning. Rigel and I spent much time in front of the sunny window.

Michael came home at noon, helped me clean up the living room and kitchen so I could go grocery shopping. We went to Burke's to get a shirt for the holiday party, and Ross's to get a skirt. There was a carload of junk to unload at the Goodwill, which was amazing and fast and I wish I had done that sooner. Lunch was at the grocery store, grocery shopping, unloading groceries, and now you are bored, because this is totally my life.

***This Just In***
Physics 2: B

That is all.


Now that FINALS ARE OVER, I have pressing concerns such as:

What to wear to the squadron's holiday party?

The skirt is a velvet gold looking thing. I like it, kinda comfy.

The red shirt is a bit overdone, don't you think? Across the front is lace, with a large flap of fabric that falls into place with a little work, assuming I know what its supposed to look like.

The green shirt is a bit simple looking, but also has split sleeves and gold threading along the sleeves and neckline.

Taken with The Hubby's cell phone because I can't find the charger for the camera.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

In College News:

Tuesday: Calculus 2
B, despite the fact that I hacked and coughed through the entire final.

Wednesday: Physics 1
I did NOT study enough for this test, and lay awake last night wondering if they would let my lab grade stand if I had to take the lecture again next semester. No kidding. I was seriously stressed about this test and it didn't help that it started an hour earlier than normal class. Stoopid Finals Schedule :P Anyway, I feel like I did as well as the previous tests, which averaged 68% (yeah, I'm a total genius). So passing is an actual possibility.

Thursday: British Literature
I can't find my notes on Oroonoko, GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! I had such good notes! Now I have to "review" from memory, and that annoys me. So yeah, I just started reviewing the material. The stress is over, really, since I didn't study much for the midterm and did fine. Plus, I have something like a 95% in this class. I am so incredibly tempted to become an English major...but for the 9 hours of foreign language...and all those departmental exams the English majors have been whining about...and I don't want to teach...I think they frown on the excessive use of ellipses anyway...

Monday, December 10, 2007


I went to bed early last night, before 9 I think. I turned the heat up to 76, bundled myself up real warm, and slept with my head under the covers. I woke up about 2 hours later all sweaty and feeling MUCH better, the fever had broken. I was actually felt like I could get up at 7 when the alarm went off (for the bird) but decided to go back to bed until 8...then snooze until 9... okay then I actually got up, showered, irrigated, etc. I felt clear enough after that that I could eat a PT&J with hot cocoa without feeling icky about it. Now of course I have a runny nose.

I really have to study for Finals....*sniffles*

Sunday, December 9, 2007

spoke too soon

I just ckecked, and I'm running 101.7


I've had 4-6 mugs of hot tea (green/black) with honey and a cough drop.

I studied for 4 hours or so in the Library. When I walked out it was cold and misty...I almost shook to death.

Now even hot tea feels horrible to my throat, so I've had a mug of hot water with a cough drop.

I don't mean to whine, I'm not dying. This just sucks.


The sick has certainly taken hold. My left sinuses were full all night, and 10 minutes after clearing them with a bulb syringe and saline they were full again. I just took half a dose of Sudafed, because a full dose will dry things up too much. If that happens, then its back to "sandpaper inside my skull" feeling. You might not be aware of how unpleasant that feels. I used to run in 30-40 degree weather while I was sick like that, and I certainly recommend it as a torture method...thanks AF!

Looking for the bright side, the silver lining? Well right now I'm a "sinuses half full" kind of person. So sue me.

Actually, I don't seem to be running a fever, which is good. Except I never "run a fever" when I'm sick like this. I have a sneaking suspicion that my normal body temp is lower than average, so that when I'm sick it doesn't show up on the thermometer as "too high." Of course I forget this until I'm sick again, so I've never taken my temperature while well.

Another bright side: I finally found a real bulb syringe last night. Real as in not the kind they use for babies now, and it doesn't have a leak in it either. Yay! I've been to CVS, WM, Target, and Walgreen's in the past. I went back to WM, then Target, last night and got nothing. On the way to CVS, I passed a Walgreen's and decided to try my luck there. I couldn't find it, but asked an employee who found it in the Ear Care section. Thank You Walgreens, you have saved my sanity!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

BSG: Incomplete

So I noticed the ads for the next season of BSG say it starts in March. That made me a Sad Bunny(tm) because I thought it was starting back up in January. I figured it was being delayed by the writer's strike, the same way Bionic Woman has been airing its episodes every-other week in order to not run out of episodes before the strike ends. I went searching and came up with this
this via

"I refuse to believe that we won't finish, that we won't be back to film our final stories, but I know and accept there is that possibility," Moore wrote on his new official blog. "I am ready to put the rest of the story on the table and take the risk that I'll never be able to tell it, in support of this strike."

I am now a Sad Bunny(tm) indeed. *tear*


For the last month or so, I've been almost-sick. Just not quite sick enough to say "I'm sick." Just a low level headache, body aches I could attribute to walking between classes and studying (haha, jk) and went away with a couple Tylanol. There was a little congestion in the morning that would clear up in a hot shower, and some random sneezing. Well today I woke up and the world smelled a little bad, and the congestion was worse.

I remember the last time I smelled this, the same time I was running all over the place trying to PCS from Okinawa. The sinus infection dried out from the Sudafed and got so bad that I was a wreck because I was starving but everything smelled like rotting meat. I spent all my "free time" with a hot wet washcloth pressed against my nose. For two weeks.

So this morning I did some sinus irrigation and then took a hot shower. The smell is still there, but the congestion is reduced. I didn't know about sinus irrigation the last time, so hopefully I can keep this thing down and not be sick during finals and when I go home in a few weeks.

I was going to run a little, but couldn't find my running shoes. The house is still a mess. I was planning to go to the library to study at 1pm, but my clothes aren't dry yet. I like studying there because there are fewer distractions like TV and internet and birds and a dirty house. Well, there's internet but being there reminds me that I can't screw around online.

Thursday, December 6, 2007


These are my two favorite poems, both by Robert Frost. Enjoy

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Wow, 5 whole days of not posting. How does that happen?

If not for the last minute, nothing would ever get me at least. I finished last week's lab report (and the number crunching) an hour before it was due yesterday. I wrote a page and a half for my Hobbit vs Lord of the Rings presentation for British Lit, last night 20 minutes before the group meeting. I did 3 out of 6 assigned practice problems for Calculus while waiting for my British Lit class to start. Bleh.

Rigel is currently going nuts on some bells...very cute. He's happier since I got his toenails trimmed on Monday.

My house is in desperate need of cleaning.

I haven't been to the gym in a verry long time.

I really want to eat some of that Tiramisu Gelato...

I have a homework and a lab report due tomorrow morning.

Since I've gotten BBC America, I've been watching way more TV.


The Hubby's fire-ant bite is rather badly swollen, so I guess we're off to the store to get some antihistamines.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Shopping Spree!

So after class on Friday, I decided to run to the pet store for A toy for the bird. I arrived at the checkout with a ladder, two hanging toys, and a new perch. Then the checker pointed out the cart of discount toys at like $1.75 each, and I donated $2 to needy pets... So I left the store $40 poorer, but my Rigel is a happy birdie for sure.

Then I ran to Ross for a toothbrush holder, but ended up buying a bunch of stuff for a coffee-themed gift basket that will be sold at auction for the 17CS Holiday Party. I got the toothbrush holder I was looking for at Target, which annoys me. I couldn't find a cheap soap pump last time I was at Target, they ran for like $7-9, so I bought the pumps at Ross for $5 each and called it a deal. Then yesterday I found what I had been looking for under $2 each. Ah well.

I'm going to make some coffee.

Home on the Range

I'll be home this winter break, yay! I have a full month break, but since I'll be riding up with Traci, we will only be home for about 10 days. We'll be leaving Texas around the 20th or so and leaving Missouri around the 30th. I'm kind of worried about traveling home during the winter because I remember the ice storm that almost trapped us last time. The news says an ice storm is close to the area right now already.

So its really windy here today, but warm at 71 degrees. I'm tempted to open the windows, but not quite. Maybe in the afternoon. **Note to San Angelo, lets not test the sirens on a windy day just because its the 1st.**

For homework this weekend I need to:
Physics: finish up the homework due Monday, the lab report due Wednesday, and start reviewing for The Final (dun-dun-dunnn!)
English: Watch Lord of the Rings to come up with a thesis to compare it to The Hobbit, and go to the group meeting on Sunday night. Presentation on Thursday.
Calculus: Small homework due Tuesday, plus I really really need to review some old stuff and start reviewing for The Final (dduudduuuunnnnn)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Insert Swearing Here

I'm still trying to finish the lab report for the lab we did 2 weeks ago. Its due tomorrow because we didn't have lab last week and the professor gave us more time. Not that its helping me at all.

In the middle of the lab, I was having trouble with my calculator, which I hate. I didn't understand how to make it display the correlation coefficient for my data. So, in keeping with the idea that the professor is paid to be there to teach, I asked for help. In return I got ranted at in front of the whole class for not knowing how to use my calculator "by the ## week of class." This was a value that we had never been asked to find before, it was supposed to be displayed on a screen that never showed it before, and after searching through my manual later I couldn't find a single reference to it. But hey, I'm just the idiot wasting her time and my money.

So I finished taking data and gave up on analysis for the day...week...until this Monday. I did search my manual for help, but eventually broke down and took manual and calculator to her office to beg again for help. I was fairly sure I had finally found the right screen, but it was a long list of variables with no definitions anywhere. I was shaking, on the verge of a panic attack waiting outside her office while she answered other people's questions. It took so long I gave up and as I walked out I passed the person who tutors me in Calculus. "Hey, do you know which of these is corr. coef?" "Yeah, R-squared." Well damn, wasn't that so much easier than flying off the handle?

Unfortunately, I didn't sit down to work on it again until tonight, still afraid of a damn lab, and I found that I needed more help than just that. Plus, I found that I didn't take a measurement I need. Wouldn't help anyway, since I don't know how I need to use it. There's no way to get it now, of course. Its due tomorrow by 2pm, but I just can't bring myself to ask for help after getting an extra week to work on it and being yelled at and made to feel so small already. Why give her another chance? So I'm going to do the second-worst thing and turn in an unfinished lab report. ALL of my previous labs have been near-perfect, its been the only thing I've had going for me in this class and now its shit.

I feel so worthless and stupid right now. I feel like giving up on everything.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Scene: late morning, lying semi-asleep in bed
Me: Ugh! What was that?
MJ: What was what?
Me: Some sort of beeping noise, like a phone or something.
MJ: I didn't hear anything. My phone's on vibrate.
Me: Mine's in the other room. There was a beep.
MJ: Its okay, we all have crazy moments.
Me: Yeah, its just that yours are all strung together.
MJ: I guess so.
MJ: Hey!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

I am nothing, if not persistent (and a little spiteful)

Dear Suddenlink Cable

First, you should know that having both and is confusing for your customers. So is still having or online, but i understand that maybe that still exists in some places.

I needed customer support today because I couldn't remember our login info:

Ok, so I went here and clicked on Contact us at the bottom of the page, which led me to
Which lead me here:
Which led me to a page offering services. Not exactly a contact form...
Oh, there's another button that says Contact Us... it links me to
Which led me to another page offering services, but no contact info.
It looks like a dead end, but then clicking the Contact Us at the bottom of the page all the sudden, now links* me to an actual page with phone numbers:

I called, the system took some info, and a person answered.
Then they put me on hold.
5 minutes later**, someone else answered, there was confusion and nobody knows what happened to the first person who put me on hold.
Wow. I have to say that isn't exactly my idea of good customer service.

Luckily, the person that picked up that second time was very helpful. I just want you to know that your "Customer Service" needs some un-cluttering.

So that's what I sent them.
*Pun Totally Intended
**Yes, I know that's not alot, I'll give them credit for that.

After finding the phone number, things went relatively smoothly. I had to put in Hubby's cell phone number.I was answered, then put on hold, and forgotten. Someone else picked up, confusion briefly ensued. I gave him Hubby's last 4 and our address. He gave me our logon name (that i would never have guessed), and let me tell him a new password. It worked, holy shit.

Then he set us up with the Variety Pack, so for $3/mo we now get:

100 Discovery Kids
101 The Science Channel
102 Discovery Home Channel
103 Discovery Times Channel
105 The Military Channel
106 Discovery Health Channel
107 Noggin
212 Jewelry Television
213 Mun 2
214 WE: Women's Entertainment
215 Gospel Music Channel
216 ShopNBC
217 Si TV
218 Fine Living
219 Do-it-Yourself
221 Game Show Network
222 Toon Disney
223 Fuse
224 BET J
225 Boomerang
226 SoapNet
227 Inspirational Life
228 Oxygen
229 Hallmark Channel
230 BBC America !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
231 EWTN
232 Great American Country
233 Nick Toons
234 Nick Games & Sports
235 MTV Hits
236 VH-1 Classic Rock
237 CMT Pure Country
239 National Geographic

Friday, November 23, 2007

Random Links

Here I am watching the BSG Razor videos, but the damn things aren't buffering and its pissing me off. Funny, the ads at the beginning aren't jumpy, and of course the video quality is ass. Good Grief, this thing is 4 minutes long, with 2 full minutes of credits. There's an ad at the beginning, and then the credits on the end, and then a promo for the upcoming real episode on the end. The actual clip must only be a minute long. I just spent half an hour trying to watch 7 clips like that, 7 damn minutes. They did the same thing last season, and the clips were of even more crappy quality. I know they're a big-budget show, but you wouldn't know it from these videos.

So anyway, I moved on to finding some gadget to help me find (or maybe not lose) my keys. A few months back, I bought a cute box for Michael to put his wallet and keys and random pocket items in. It is now a bottomless pit of receipts, and the general clutter has overflowed to the counter again. I'm considering one for myself, but first I'm going to investigate my options.

I found the KeyRinger, which is of a fair price and the two tags find each other, no remote. Then there's the pricey option: The Loc8tor. Need I say more? I found a low-tech, low cost solution at The Container Store. Its a khaki doorknob hanger with pockets and a clip for keys. I'm not sure if my wallet is skinny enough for it, but it would keep the Paper-Pile Monster from growing within. I turned to and found two things similar to the Loc8tor, but less expensive and complicated. They are, um, at the top of myMy Wish List

Of course I suppose its time to tell you all about the hours I spent holiday decorating. Yeah. It seems there are so many holidays during this chilly season to keep people from killing each other, and look what christmas has done, turned into a holiday that makes people want to kill each other, while giving them an excuse to hold hammers. Its just a horrible loop. I started hanging my little snowflake strand, but the nails i was using were too short for me to hammer into the wall, so they kept falling to the floor. At nail #4, i threw down the hammer and declared "The Season" was over, because it ends the moment it begins to annoy me. Anyway, I ended up hanging Michael's stocking (mine is packed somewhere) and sitting out the green sparkle teddy bear and the little stuffed snowman on either side of the tv, and the rest of the shit stayed in the holiday gift bag it was being stored in, now "decorating" the spot between the TV and fireplace.

Thats the end of my holiday decorating.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Oh Sick!

Steve, Don't Eat It!
I've only made it to reading the Urkel-O's ... and Michael thinks I'm too adventurous about trying new foods...

Ok, I finished reading, and I admit that there was one entry that exceeded my ICK limit, and I quickly scrolled past it, bravely hoping the following entries wouldn't be that bad. I leave you to guess which one.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


So I got my physics exam back yesterday, 42%. Outch.
The test was WAY TOO LONG, AGAIN so that everyone had at least two questions they didn't have time to start, I actually had 4 I couldn't start, but on two of them I wrote bullshit down anyway and I'm sure others were the same way. So she gave us 8 points (equivalent of 1 problem). Then I went over my test with her and we found 7 whole points that she graded me wrong on. Yay, 57%. Man this sucks.

We finished The Hobbit today. I'm annoyed with myself because I completely missed the quiz question, which is mostly because I only skimmed the reading on Saturday, because I was "studying calculus" all weekend. Yeah, that's it. Oh, and I also went to see Beowulf, which you will like best if you haven't read the poem recently.

Then I had a calculus exam this morning, which I did not study enough for (yes, despite having the whole weekend). I feel pretty good about it though, mostly because I HAD TIME TO FINISH THE WHOLE THING and go back to catch little errors. Holy Crap, the concept! There's only one that I'm flat out sure I did wrong, and I'm guessing that I managed an 80%.

And then I missed my appointment for a haircut, and I need one badly. Where do I go?? NO MORE MASTERCUTS!

Thanks to the nice lady at Hair Designers on Johnson St for staying at work a few minutes late and giving me a great haircut.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Flip Flop

This marriage has flip-flopped more than political candidates this month. First I wanted a divorce and he’s all right with it. Then I didn’t want a divorce and he still did but was willing to spend time together but apart and see how it goes. Then I really wanted to stay together and he said no way. So I gave him all the space in the world and made strides in accepting my miserable little apartment as “home.” Now he’s all lonely and wants to stay married.

Lesson: If you want someone to miss you, be not there for awhile. Duh.

I have to say that right now we both are agreeing to maintain a Marriage of Convenience, and go to counseling to work on having a Real Marriage. Let’s define: A Real Marriage as one where both partners share similar goals, make each other generally happy, and work toward their future together, while a Convenient Marriage is one where we are unsure of our future together, are benefited financially, and don’t hate each other’s rotten stinking guts.

We are still doing Thanksgiving apart, we both already made plans. I’m going to give notice at my apartment tomorrow after class. And I was joking about the “we don’t hate each other’s rotten stinking guts”, we do actually care about each other, which is what has made this whole thing so complicated.

What makes it less complicated is the fact that all my neighbors are about as considerate as one could possibly be, if one were born without certain parts of the brain which regulate empathy for others. It is nearly midnight, you dear, devout, and hearing impaired man.

I'd say more, but my grasp on this internet connection is tenuous, at best.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Fixing Things Up

When I moved to my own apartment, I was excited to be able to put my own touch on things, do things my own way without asking "Is this okay?" Then I started getting lonely, full of reget, angry at myself for "destroying" the life I had built during marriage. I didn't get a lot of things that I needed to make my apartment comfortable. Things like sheets for my bed, laundry detergent, trash can, soap dispensers, a vacuum. (You might not think of soap pumps as a necessity, but try using those huge bottles of hand and dish soap and you'll understand.)

Its been a roller-coaster, but that part has passed, and I'm looking forward again. I did some shopping after yesterday's Physics test (lets not discuss), got those things plus 3 long sleeved shirts and a fluffy mattress pad. I haven't seen my un-husband since Sunday. I'm planning to have Thanksgiving dinner with Sarah and Scott. I have an appointment at a good stylist to get my hair trimmed. I've picked up a Residency Questionnaire, so hopefully I can afford school.

So yeah, fixing my life back up, the way I need and want it to be. No more tying my happiness to a mate, because you can't trust that person to give a shit.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Things I lost this week:

Homework points.
THE Point.
The will to Love.

But of all the things I lost, I miss my thumb drive the most, and Time is the one thing I can never get back.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Probably not the answer they're looking for...

Last week's lab was an "out of class exploration." In other words: I will feel intimidated by the lab and put off doing the work until the day before the next lab. Oh yeah, that's today. I can't for the life of me figure out what is expected of me, I hate out of class work.

Forks on a toothpick, find center of mass: I am way to clumsy to actually do this.

Find your center of mass: I'm guessing somewhere near my big fat ass.

Fuck Shit Damn I don't need this kill to my confidence right now.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

In Draft

I'm working on a post about my insecurities and fears, but I got all un-motivated in the middle of it. I realize now that I have quite a few posts in draft...

I need to go put Rigel to bed. Enjoy this song.

When you're on top

by The Wallflowers.

I need a bed
That nobodys slept in
I need some air
Nobodys been breathing
I need a thought
That I can believe in
Is this fog
Or is the building really burning

I need you
Much more than ever
I'm making new friends
But none of them matter
Maybe now
We don't fit together
But you've got your arms around
No one but strangers

I feel fine
With the sun in my eyes
The wind in my hair
When I'm falling out of this sky
I'm doing better than I thought I would
But nothings ever as good
As when you're on top

I want to wake up
And just start running
Into a ditch
Or straight up a mountain
I want to get
Where no one been gettin'
Make it deeper than hell
Or make it higher than heaven

I need someone whose price hasn't been met
When everybody's disappearing
By the minute
There isn't anyone left
I haven't meet yet
Well I remember
When they hadn't gotten to you yet


Half way up
And over this rainbow
I heard a shot
Fire up from a ghetto
As I drop
I didn't think you'd follow
Just didn't know
The sky was this shallow

I need a garden
Where nothings forbidden
I need an apple
That no ones been eatin'
I want to start again
Back at the beginnin'
I had a vision
That this feeling maybe has an ending

Really, I need to sleep in my bed and I need an end to this gut-wrenching. Damn Damn Damn.


This week I've decided to focus only on school. I have a Physics exam on Friday, Calculus on Thursday, and English next Tuesday.

I'm so tired of wasting my time on other things that I can't change, no matter how hard I try. I'm tired of going from hope to rejection and despair 10 times a day, I need resolution. Love me or leave me, but I think I've been punished enough, toyed with enough, for this one mistake.

I fear I will be quite alone on Thanksgiving, and I wish I could go home.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

That's Better!

I thought that the 18 credits of math for a minor was in addition to the 12 hours of math I have to take for my major. I was terrified. I was running for the hills.

Turns out that they actually do apply. Plus the Pre-Cal classes I took last year apply to the minor as well! Woohoo! That means I have to take **ZERO** extra math courses! There's no way for me to NOT get a minor in Math.

I have lots and lots of transfer credits that all go toward electives, but I think there are still 7 that I can use for anything. I'm considering a dual minor Math+Geology. I would only have to go 3 credits over, and that can be done during the summer (like I said yesterday).

So yeah, I feel so much better now.

Unfortunately, I will definitely only be half-time in the Spring. 7 hours. I guess that means I can focus focus focus.


Monday, November 5, 2007

Decisions, Decisions

Registration for Spring 2008 opens this week. My adviser rescheduled my appointment until tomorrow at 3 (note to self), but I've already put together a schedule conflict worksheet. Stress is that I've completed ALL of my general and elective requirements, thanks primarily to CCAF and the fact that those were the only classes I could take while on Active Duty. That means that I have to somehow fill at least 12 credit hours using only classes from my major and minor concentrations, in order to be paid for full time by GIBill. That's so not happening.

I need to take Calculus 3, Physics 2 + Lab, Geology + Lab, and one of the two Physics courses that don't have Physics 2 as a prerequisite. If I could do that, it would be 14 credits.

The first two are both offered in the spring, so I'm good there. Unfortunately, Geology is offered at the exact same time as Physics, so I can't take it. Thats kind of okay because I can take it in the summer. But since neither of the two Physics courses I could take are even offered in the Spring, I'm only going to be able to take 7 credits. Half-time. Damn. Its possible that I could take the remaining Math requirement, but I don't really want to take two tough Math courses in the same term.

That's also why I don't want to minor in Math. Just imagine it: Two upper level Physics classes, plus two upper level Math classes every term for the next 2 1/2 years. No, not so much. It sounds like as much fun as eating tacks for breakfast. So I'm thinking about Geology as a minor. I could get a little bit of the Great Outdoors over the summers. Half of the required credits are offered in the summer, which means I can be fulltime in the summer and be able to graduate by the end of 2009 (Woohoo! the same decade as I graduated from HS!). Plus, it actually sounds interesting, and a good relief from the Math+Physics beatings I must endure. (I like Physics, really) I was hoping to get a feel for it this Spring, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.

Anyway, if you read this far, you are bored, and I am sorry.

Where to begin?

First, I ate a TON of food at lunch today. I feel like I swallowed a balloon and then blew it up.

You know that feeling you get on Thanksgiving, where there's so much food packed into your gut that it hurts to breathe?

Then you burp, and think "I've got room for another slice of pumpkin pie!"

I once had an entire pie that way, but not today.

I have been planning to take leave and visit my friend Traci when she has her baby next month. She just moved to the state this fall, and I'm pretty much the nearest person she knows. Now she just found out her hubby might not be home for the birth, that she might be all alone. Can't have that, so I'm going to talk to my boss about extending my leave.

On another note, I'm looking at requesting an educational hardship waiver or something. I can have my date of
separation moved up to 90 days sooner, up to 10 days before the start of a college term. The summer term starts 6 July, and I'm going to request a new separation date of 1 July. I'm excited. I've felt like my life is on hold for the last year, and its time to get busy livin' or get busy dyein' Oh I'm such a dork.

Unfortunately, this means I will have to put in paperwork with the college to become a degree-seeking student, and
to declare a major before I ever take a class in physics or chemistry (my two choices). I know I can change it if I decide I'm no good at physics(read: math), but I really don't want to do that.

Michael and I narrowed down our list of apartments to apply for. I sent emails to all 4 management companies, and I got a reply from only one. It is the one Michael likes best, and the rent for the 2 bed/1 bath units is reasonable for how nice the complex is.

Unfortunately that unit doesn't have washer/dryer hookups. I'm not selling my washer and dryer, and I am NOT going back to communal laundry. Ever. Never. Ever. The 2 bed/1+ bath unit has connections, but its not very much cheaper than our rent is now. The whole point of moving is to reduce our rent. Also the rent doesn't include any utilities.

So, we would be moving from a 3 bed/2 bath/2 car garage house (too big for us), to a 2 bed/1+ bath/single carport apartment, with very little change in our rent. Not happening.

I guess I will have to call the other places, since the emails didn't go through. Suck. I hate phones, and talking on them, to people.

My house is a mess, I'm gonna go pretend to clean it. Laters.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Good Morning

I've added a new feature at the bottom of the page, because I think its a bit tacky to have ads as the first thing you see. Its supposed to be videos of Conures and parrots. There are manymanymany videos of conures on YouTube, but somehow it only finds 3 videos of parrots for the player. If I choose just conures, I get a dozen videos of someone named Chad Vader.  Advice is welcome.

Rather than email this to all of you, well hell thats what blogs are for, right?!

I thought you'd be interested in this story from Science@NASA: On Monday morning, Nov. 5th, space shuttle Discovery is scheduled to undock from the ISS while the pair are gliding over many US towns and cities. The two spaceships will cut across a glittering expanse of morning stars dotted by bright planets and a Venus-Moon conjunction. And don't forget the exploding comet! It all adds up to
"A Fantastic Monday Morning Sky Show ."

It was rather simple to get my password reset over the phone for my Alltel account. Unfortunately, the site keeps timing out, so poopy.

Someone please explain to me why it is under 70 degrees outside, and they are still running the AC inside, while all the wuss Texans are wearing heavy coats because ZOMG ITS UNDER 70!one!oneeleventyone!!! (other people say that's funny)
I'm going to go buy some eggs and attempt to win my hubby's heart through his stomach.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Stress Much?

I just got out of Calculus. I'm pretty sure the professor took our brains out and beat them with a baseball bat and then returned them to our heads. At least that's how I remember things.

Registration for the Spring is opening up soon. Holy crap, soon. I feel like this semester is going so fast, like I'm on a treadmill going 7 miles an hour and just trying not to fall off.

Hope is still there, but I keep feeling like everything has double meaning, everything is a hint and I'm reading it wrong out of desperation. I'm tempted to delete that, but I need to say it. Damn.

I'm still not sleeping well because I keep waking up from weird dreams, but none I can remember from last night. Also, my hand hurts from hitting the wall very hard because yesterday I was awakened by Mr. Thinks He Lives In A Karaoke Bar, at 6am. SIX IN THE DAMN MORNING, PEOPLE! I've decided he isn't human.

What a mess...

Dear [username],

Your My Account User ID has been locked due to excessive attempts to log in [WITH THE CORRECT PASSWORD!]. To unlock your account, please reset your password by returning to Forgot Your Password on My Account and entering your User ID. If you cannot remember your User ID [WHICH IS RIGHT THERE AT THE TOP OF THIS EMAIL AND IS THE ONE YOU USED WHICH GOT YOU LOCKED OUT] and are the original person to register your account (Account Administrator), please contact Customer Service at 1-800-alltel1. If you are not the original person to register your account and have forgotten your User ID please contact the Account Administrator to obtain your User ID which is located in Account Management.

Our goal is to provide you with exceptional customer service. Online account accessibility through My Account gives you the control and convenience [BARF] you need to manage your account on-line. We appreciate your business and hope you love every minute.

Thank you for being a valued Alltel Customer.

Alltel Communications

Except "To unlock your account, please reset your password by returning to Forgot Your Password on My Account and entering your User ID." doesn't work because my account has been locked! I am so.incredibly.not. in the mood to argue about this with the customer service people, and the email thing on the website is insisting that I create a new account in order to send an email to customer service, and then insists that my account already exists (duh!) and won't let me send the email, and just sending an email to the mailbox they reply with gets an autoresponse saying it isn't monitored so please use the email thing on the website and then my brains just exploded.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Here's a synopsis of my last few nights of weird-ass dreams. Its strange that I remember them, but I feel like I have weird dreams all the time.


Tornadoes, not an uncommon theme, but I'm not mad at my Mom, so what gives? Anyway, I'm in the dream version of the Emporia dorms we used to stay in. I saw a tornado rip through a building across the street and run through the halls to find Duane, who doesn't give a shit. First he doesn't believe me, then I tell him It. Was. Right. There! and he says well then it was across the street and we don't have to worry about it.

At some later point I'm here at ASU, walking across the parking lot at night, when I see a bright object in the sky. I realize its Saturn, but way too large and bright to be real. Then Saturn zooms across the night sky over my head.


I'm in a cabin, during some training exercise. There are a couple of guys, me, and the woman whose in charge. All the sudden we are overrun by a team of people with nicer weapons than us, not part of the exercise. They shoot the guys, snap the other woman's neck and find me inside the cabin. The woman in charge of the newcomers pats me on the shoulder and says that I had better make it seem like an accident. I go all freaked out and throw a couple bodies off the balcony until I realize that's pretty shitty. An officer passes by in a vehicle and I flag her down and tell her the whole freaky story, and I'm all paranoid because I think the bad guys put a tracker or something on me when they patted by shoulder.

(same night as previous one)
I'm there for the first meeting with aliens. At first everyone is happy. Then I'm with a group hiding underground somewhere but I'm contacted by the aliens and invited to go with them. I hug my mom and others and pack up my stuff to go, making sure to bring my homework (I'm a total loser, yes) and its about that time we realize they are out to take what they want and destroy the rest. Guiltily, I still go with the aliens. On the way out, though, I hear noise from below in our hideout. I pound on the floor a few times...and Chief Tyrol peeks out of a drain in the street. I tell him they better shut the hell up and maybe someone will live. (I'm officially a complete losergeek for that last, and I'm okay with that).

There was some stuff with dragons and fire, but I'm not sure how it fits.

As the aliens are packing up my stuff, I ask them how much of it I will ever see again. They say take a good look now, because never. I talk with them about how horrible it will be to be the only human left. One girl says its no big deal, asks another where she's from and says "Never heard of it." She says to me "See, you won't stick out, nobody notices" Of course they all look human and I realize they all are from planets that were destroyed by the evil aliens and took the same opportunity I did.

As we fly away, there's weirdness with liquor accidentally falling out of the cargo hold, so its in orbit. And then something vague that I'm sure is from last week's episode of Atlantis.

So they leave me in the cargo hold with all the Earth stuff they collected. There's a tv, and I begin flipping through channels that I guess they are piping through to me. I watch how shallow US television dealt with the situation as it unraveled. The signal gives out/is cut before I can see things get really bad. I demand to see the actual destruction, but it looks like a bad movie clip of exploding Earth. I insist that its fake. I hold out hope that the planet wasn't totally destroyed, that some may have survived.


I'm repairing some light/vent thing, with someone supposed to be helping me. She insists that I have to hold this thing for an hour or else it will break. I'm stuck there holding it while she wanders off. This pisses me off much. Next part is vague.

Then I'm in some sort of meeting place with hunters and other people. I can't remember the purpose but there was one. I'm sitting on a wood floor across from my Mom when some newcomers arrive and pick up a deck of cards. Mom gets pissed, takes the cards, and says they have to earn the right to use them. She invites me to play a game of rummy, but its some weird version that I don't remember playing. She says I played the game as a team with her once and we kicked ass. For some reason she says this is how people used to decide who pays the rent this month. For some reason all the players have to kiss at the beginning of each round. Something about Mom likes kissing guys with nice teeth.

My dreams are very strange, yes?

Monday, October 29, 2007

Bird Therapy

Thanks to kiwilito over at for the laugh.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Mixed Signals

Midterms were last week. Bad time to rearrange your life, and then to regret it, etc.

So the BritLit test hasn't been graded/returned yet, which is annoying. I have a pretty good time in that class, talk way more than I normally do in class, and make what I think are pretty good points about the reading. I wrote a lot less then I should have on the essays, and I hope that didn't hurt my test grade. FYI, my professor is was in the movie Weird Science, which I didn't realize until someone in class mentioned that he has an IMDB page. I have to say, its not my favorite movie, but Michael was highly impressed because its one of his favorites.

I made a pretty big improvement in Cal2, going from a 51% on the first test to 87% on the second. Also, if we do well enough on the final, he will substitute that grade for our lowest test grade. I'm doing well on the homework thanks to the tutors, so I might come through this one.

I stayed up until 1am studying for Physics, and got up an hour early to finish studying. The test was tough, but seemed to me I did better on it than the previous (57%). Everyone else including the ones who did great on the first one said they didn't even manage to finish, and I did, so I felt pretty good. Next class meeting, we're told the grades are so horribly bad that she's regrading them. At that point I was worried. Today, she handed back our tests, and then a re-written version of the test for us to do as homework. She'll average that grade with the test grade, for a final test grade. That's cool, but the class average was like 50%, and I GOT A 71% Wooohooo! I'm kinda pissed that they get to make up the grade which I didn't get to do when I did that bad on the first test, but I'm trying not to be bitter.

Anyway... mixed signals... I don't know. I wish I knew how I was doing. Off to the movies then. We're seeing the Elizabeth movie, I'll let you know how it is.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Defective Yeti

I just ran across this one via Dooce's sidebar, and I can't bookmark on these damn lab computers. Anyway, here are a few snippits:

I always imagine the inventors of Trivial Pursuit sitting around one evening after a few beers, saying "You know what my favorite part of high school was? Taking exams that I didn't study for. If only we could package the thrill of a pop quiz into a board game, but do it in such a way that 80% of the time you're sitting around inertly watching other people struggle to answer the questions, we would have a sure-fire hit on our hands."

Knock knock

Who's there?

George W. Bush

Oh, god. Still?

Yes, for 14 more months



Of course I'll be the first to pull the lever for Clinton if it's Hillary v. Rudy in the general election. Standing on principle is noble, but Giuliani eats power for breakfast and shits crazy in the afternoon.

Thanks, More Hope

Thanks for the words, everyone. Its good to know I can talk to you guys.

The way things are right now:

We finally talked on Thursday, and there was much crying by me, and much real talking that we should have done before. I was making him unhappy in a lot of ways I didn't realize, which is why he accepted the idea of divorce so readily. It boiled down to me asking, "Don't we all get one big mistake? Don't I deserve a chance to make it up to you?" So we agreed to wait on filing for divorce for a month, and to spend time together but still live apart during that time. I asked him to find us a marriage counselor, but I'm not sure if he wants to do that.

So I'm not planning on moving anything more out of "our/his" apartment for the time being, and I put the curtains back up because "my" apartment is too dark to hang curtains anyway, and we watched SF Friday together. Maybe...such a big maybe, but like I said I'm holding onto hope. I didn't cry at all on Friday.

Anyway, I'd love to be able to chat with you guys, but I have no internet connection so I'm at the computer lab, and I need to get back to studying for my Physics midterm. On an up note(kinda), my Physics prof told me to not let this interfere too badly with my term, because she thinks I have a good grasp on the physics concepts. I don't know what TJ she's been seeing in class, but she does give a good pep talk. Man I was a wreck that day.

ALSO! I'm going to be an Aunt! Matt's girlfriend is preggers.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Liveblogging: Bird Antics

I haven't paid much attention to Rigel today, except to give him a bath and sit in the window while he dried off. Busy deciding what to pack, leave, or sell, and working on my budget too. So he's been doing his own thing for a few hours.

This bird cracks me up. Just now, he took his jingly ball, climbed up the slanted wood perch, then up through the food bowl basket, and finally made it up to the rope perch with prize in beak. Then, of course, it fell. He was so pissed.

OH! He did it again!!!! I'm going to have to take down the tent-swing he doesn't use, its blocking my view. Dropped it again, poor baby bird!

Aahahah! Now he's laying on his back with the ball in his foot. Oh my goodness, he's a character. I guess this is what he does all day when I'm gone. I'm going to have to set up a camera.

He was on the cage bottom in a corner, playing with is ball, laying on his side. I couldn't stop laughing and he heard me, gave a big loud squack like "Oh Shit She's Watching me!"

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

What's in a Name?

Okay internet-people, I really need your help. I have to put my new legal name on our divorce paperwork, and we're filing it next week. I'm considering several options:

1. Quit being stupid, just go back to the birth name and be done with it.
--Or keep it, but shorten it to Niel or Niels....interesting....

2. An anagram of first/middle initials of my Mom, Grandma, and Great-Grandma.

3. Maybe I need to know my Great-Great Grandmother's name?

3. Ibbott
Usage: English
Ibbott is a matronymic derived from the old feminine name Ibota, which in turn was derived from Isabel, the oldest form of Elizabeth to be introduced into England. And my Mom's name, Lisa, is derived from Elizabeth.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Modern Divorce

Step1: Get the nerves to say it.
Step2: Stop shaking, because its not a fight. *whew*
Step3: Split key assets: savings, DVD collections, TV, digital camera. In that order.
Step4: Change your Myspace Top Friends.
Step5: Blog it.

Laugh together, tell the honest truths you've both been holding back. Move on with your lives. I can't believe it was so easy, and yet so hard.

To Do List
In no particular order:

- Establish TX Residency *shudders*
- Buy a bed
- Fill out application for new apartment
- Decide what last name to change to...I want to be creative but not kooky, any ideas?
~~Dear Mom: I'll change back to my birth name if you do.
- Separate bills
- Do my homework...this is not a good excuse for procrastinating! (and yet I am)
~~Its Monday, why am I worrying about my lab report? I should be doing Calculus or reading Twelfth Night.
- Find someone with a truck to help me move a desk and a bookshelf. Volunteers?
~~ Should probably find out if the desk will fit through the door without being completely disassembled. *No disassemble! Johnny 5 is alliiiiiivvvve!*

Friday, October 5, 2007

My Super Exciting Life

HI! How are you?!? Its been almost 2 weeks since I posted anything but links and stuff. I bet you're just dying to know how life is progressing.

I caught Rigel sleeping upside down from his Comfy Perch this week. I must get video somehow. *Dadadada dadadada Bat-BIRD!*

In Physics: I'm still struggling with setting up Conservation of Energy problems, but Conservation of Momentum makes so much more sense, so I'm having a better go of it. I'm getting good results in lab, even if it does take us a bit longer to setup. I'm nit-picky.

In Calculus: I've found that drawing graphs on printer paper with colored pencil is helping me understand volumes of revolution, plus going to tutoring every other day.

In British Liturature: We finished Beowulf last week, analyzed the new movie site, and and read some King Arthur stuff this week. On to Twelfth Night for next week.

If you haven't watched the new Bionic Woman, the 2nd episode is on Sci-Fi tonight. Watch it. You will love it. "How'm I doin now?" Michelle Ryan rocks, and so does Katee Sackhoff, but we knew that already. I'm in love with all the people putting strong, intelligent, non-anorexic women on television. I'm not in love with IMDB commenters, jerks.

Stargate Atlantis premiered their new season last Friday too. Not my favorite show, but worth watching. Jewel Staite is playing the new doctor (a tad young for it, but I can't not love her) and Amanda Tapping will be leading the city I think after next episode. I can't stand McKay, and I just can't wait for Col. Carter to knock him down a notch. Also, it means we might one day see the resolution of the Carter/O'Neill angst.

Doctor Who Series 3(?) is coming to a close this week, and I'm pretty excited. The finale story arc is 3 episodes, and I didn't know that at first. So at the end of the 1st one, I was thinking "Wow, that was a great cliffhanger for the season!" Then the commercial for the next week comes on and I'm thinking "Oh, sweet!" And then that happened again. So now, for sure, its the finale tonight, and I'm amped up.

Swiss Cheese Poop, has it really been 2 weeks since the bad haircut? Well, I'm a bit thankful for it because for the first time ever I can wear headbands. I look cute in headbands! My last memory of being forced to wear headbands involved a purple one digging into my skull for the sake of a family portrait. It was giving me a headache. My grandmother was, um, annoyed when I took it off. Did you know they make them with little silicone cushions now? I bought like 6 different ones, plus these ones that swoop back when they get to your ear, so they are so amazingly comfortable.

Saturday, September 29, 2007


This is a personality test I just took, not a horoscope or a quizfarm thing. I don't know how "right" they are, but some of the questions turned in my gut a little, and I surprised myself with a few answers.

Enneagram Type 6 - Loyalist

Conflicted between trust and distrust

People of this personality type essentially feel insecure, as though there is nothing quite steady enough to hold onto. At the core of the type Six personality is a kind of fear or anxiety. [...]What all Sixes have in common however, is the fear rooted at the center of their personality, which manifests in worrying, and restless imaginings of everything that might go wrong. This tendency makes Sixes gifted at trouble shooting, but also robs the Six of much needed peace of mind and tends to deprive the personality of spontaneity. The essential anxiety at the core of the type Six fixation tends to permeate the personality with a sort of "defensive suspiciousness." Sixes don't trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven herself, at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty. The loyalty of the Six is something of a two edged sword however, as Sixes are sometimes prone to stand by a friend, partner, job or cause even long after it is time to move on.


The truly confounding element when it comes to typing Sixes is that there are two fundamentally different strategies that Sixes adopt for dealing with fear. Some Sixes are basically phobic. Phobic Sixes are generally compliant, affiliative and cooperative. Other Sixes adopt the opposite strategy of dealing with fear, and become counterphobic, essentially taking a defiant stand against whatever they find threatening. [...] Counterphobic Sixes are often unaware of the fear that motivates their actions. In fact, Sixes in general, tend to be blind to the extent of their own anxiety. Because it is the constant back drop to all of their emotions, Sixes are frequently unaware of its existence, as they have nothing with which to contrast it.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Blogger has released something I love love love: Blogger Play which "is a real-time slideshow of photos Blogger users have recently uploaded to their blogs."

My Requests are two:
1) How can I put the stream from Blogger Play into the sidebar of my blog?
That would rock, and it would put the images to an audience outside writers.

2) How do I get Adsense to display something without the word "blog" in it.
Who displays ads for blogging? Dumb. I write about all kinds of things, parrots, Science Fiction, college... In fact, in all posts outside this one, I write the word "glob" or "bl*g" in a futile attempt to make Adsense display something relevant. I am annoyed.
**Update** Apparently posting this did the trick. Go figure.
**Update 2** I have once again removed ads from my page. Why? I clicked through one of them and it was a series of lists of links to lists of links to lists of links enter your email here bullshit. Yea, clicking on your own adspace is against the rules, and I bet that's why. Of course I've never clicked on anyone else's either, so I guess its all about balance.

Dr. Who loves birds!

This is absolutely marvelous! Here I am, sitting with my conure and waiting for tonight's Dr. Who episode, and what do I find on the internets? I and the Bird #58, a carnival of bird posts in the context of Dr. Who. The circle of geekdom is complete.

Bad Week, Bad Hair

This shitty week had better not follow me into the weekend. First, I failed my physics test. I don't mean failed as in I didn't get the grade I wanted, I mean I got 51/100 points possible. Shit.

Oh yeah, I also slid my tablet, face down, across the floor in my English class. The 3 inch long gash is quite lovely, really. *bangs head against wall*

Thursday I took a calculus test. I won't know how badly that stunk until Tuesday.

Then I got a Shitty McShitstain haircut.


"Styled" (by me, so not really)


Thursday, September 20, 2007

Another Bad Haircut

I think I'm going to hire Becky to come down here and cut my hair, because really nobody else has a clue.

Of course it was Mastercuts again. My hair had grown out quite a bit and it just doesn't behave in mid-lengths. I wanted it at mid-cheek in front, and higher in the back (to avoid the flare-out tail I get). Instead, I now look exactly like I did right after I got to Okinawa, which means it looks like I had a boy-cut that grew out for 4 months. Great. Anyway, with a comb-headband-thingey it doesn't look entirely bad. I guess I have a reason to wear those now.

Here's a brief review of past bad haircuts. Its now just a little shorter, especially in the back, than this first shot:

No, I can't wear that top, or the shorts I was in that day, anymore. I can't believe I ever could!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

7 Minutes of Truth

Brutally Honest. Watch at your own risk, my friends.

Found via:
Effects Measure

Saturday, September 15, 2007


Hi Stewie! Thanks for adding us to your roll, Rigel is happy to know he has a following. :)

He has two really favorite toys. One I call jingly balls, plastic whiffle-type balls with bells inside. They are even more fun with a plain tissue sticking out of a hole. The other is my husband’s ring. It’s titanium so it won’t get scratched at all. He likes to take it off our fingers in a wiggle motion and…well the rest needs to be recorded for full appreciation for how much he loves it.

He had no interest in the Bird Buddy (by Happy Hut) except for the strings. Anything with strings is just a toy with annoying things hanging off it.

So yeah, the nice $10 toys, he’s not so interested. Go figure.

I never got him a treat labyrinth because I got him the treats that go in it, and he is uninterested so far. My shirts function very well as shredding toys. *doh* He has a rope comfy perch, but I’m still not sure if he would like a swing. Maybe next month. Speaking of wood ladders, it appears he knocked his over in the last 10 minutes. Huh.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Parrot Photo Shoot

Here's a set of pictures I took after Rigel's bath today. We sat in the sunshine to dry off and he was very photogenic. I had a little trouble with the upload, but finally got it working on

I love this, I caught him mid tail-shake!

He has a bunch of new feathers coming in around his beak, so he loves rubbing his face on things. He stopped and just looked at me from this weird position.

Enjoying the sunshine, and chewing on the perch.

Mister Attitude

What a difference flash makes. He didn't like it much.

I like the arrangement here, and in the second one his little prim proper feet. Don't be fooled. Later I caught him chewing on my shirt.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! No really, its a bird.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Accomplishment (Or Not)

Weekend Goals:
Physics HW___________Due: Monday____Completed Friday Afternoon :)
Physics Lab + Report_____Due: Wednesday__Not Started :(
Chemistry Pre-Lab_______Due: Tuesday____Not Started :(
Calculus HW___________Due: Tuesday____~ Completed Sunday Night
Literature Paper_________Due: Tuesday____Completed (3rd Time) Sunday Night

Clean up various notes________________kinda got around to some of that a little
Go back and do Chemistry HW I skipped___not so much
Go back and do Math HW I bombed______nope
Screw Around on internet_____________excessively
Minor housecleaning and laundry_______done (or not)

So why did I want to finish stuff that's not due until mid-week? First, I'm trying (or not) to get ahead instead of doing all homework the night before its due, because it has been stressing me out. Second, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon which might (or not) leave me in some sort of agony, and I didn't want to skip important assignments because it hurts too much to focus. Oh well.

I'm really hoping the pain isn't too bad because I need to make it to the Math Lab tomorrow night for help on my Calculus homework. I worked all of the problems, but a few aren't coming up with correct answers. I know it has something to do with reversing the chain rule (like you wanted to know), but I can't figure out how.

Eh. So I've spent half an hour doing this instead of, well, anything else. Damn. Off to bed then.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Serenity: Characterization

Captain Mal Reynolds and angelic killing-machine River Tam are dynamic characters in the movie Serenity. I do not think it is possible to look at these two characters separately, because each exists to repair the damage of the other. He struggles to live outside the reach of the oppressive government he fought against in a failed rebellion. It is a difficult task because his crew makes a living smuggling between planets and harbors two fugitives. His disenchantment with rebellion cannot hide the anger seething beneath, or the good in his heart.

The girl, River, is a child genius on the run from government experiments that gave her physical strength and psychic abilities. She is unable to control many of her disturbing behaviors because of the torture and the government secret that is tearing apart her psyche. When she reveals it, Mal must choose between keeping his head low and risking his crew and his ship to broadcast the truth. He initially decides to take his crew into hiding, until the enemy systematically slaughters everyone they could depend on. Left without an alternative, Mal finally lets his sense of justice meet his rage, and he leads his crew on their bloody mission. The experience is cleansing for River’s mind, redemptive for Mal, and the movie ends on a tentatively positive note.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tablet Review (again)

My new tablet is pissing me off, so I already want a brand-new one. I'm willing to buy it as a replacement for my primary laptop. That is if I can also get a docking station or even just a laptop holder that would put it at a good slant for viewing while using the wireless keyboard. We'll still end up losing a good chunk of change over it though, and I doubt the Hubs will like the idea. I won't have to get used to a tiny screen like the one I have now (10.4'') if I get a 12.1'' and use Hubs' old monitor we have in the office when I need larger. I was dumb to get 10.4'' anyway, because the case is the same, just with a smaller screen area.

--Fan runs too loud and too often, without maxing out the processor, even when doing the most basic tasks and even when not warm. It does, however, get warm after awhile of doing next to nothing. It is nothing short of ridiculous. I'm willing to deal with the annoyance if it were only me, but I already get slightly annoyed looks from my classmates, and I'm not willing to be rude.

--I have an indoor display, which is supposedly best if you aren't using it in the brighter light outdoors. However the glare off the classroom lights means that I can't reliably see what I'm writing most of the time. Perhaps an Indoor/Outdoor display will be better, or perhaps this is just a bad example for an Indoor display?

--I can't get the pen calibrated in portrait mode, so I'm touching nowhere near where my pointer is actually hitting. This plus the bad display means that I can't hit the scrollbar for fresh paper in the middle of writing. Bad. Somehow landscape is better, but sometimes I need to write in portrait, period.

--I'm torn on using it as a graphing calculator, because Duh! these and later professors probably won't let me use my tablet on tests, but there is a fair likelihood of using the TI-84 on tests. So I might as well get as much practice as possible using the TI-84, and just dream about all the cool stuff I could do with MathJournal on the tablet. :(

The only good thing I can say is that the battery life on my tablet is amazing, 7+ hours! Reboot only takes about 10 minutes off the remaining power.

Week 1 Update

Is the first week really only halfway through???!!! Oh well, its the tough half that's through, so I'll take it. Sorry this is kind of long and rambling. I should post more often.

The Bad

As a follow-up to the sneezing episode a few weeks ago, the skin around Rigel's eyes now has faint spots of pink. I called the vet, missed the return call from the Dr., and now I have to wait until tomorrow to talk to him. He'll probably call while I'm in class.

Nothing makes me fell more dumb and worthless than math, nay Calculus.
--Three of my 4 courses, and of course both labs, require Calculus.
--I couldn't do the review of Cal1 tonight. I mean I feel really dumb right now. I'll have to go to the Math Lab for tutoring tomorrow afternoon, but that won't protect me from turning in a pathetic homework assignment first. :(

My Schedule
--Monday was the first day for 2 classes, which means stress.
-- Tuesday was the first day for my other 2 classes and its also Chem Lab day, which is 4 more hours and equals more stress and a birdy all alone all day. This makes me sad.
-- Wednesday is Physics Lab day, 2nd longest day of the week. Lonely Bird but I come home for 2 hours for lunch. Theoretically.
--Thursday and Friday will be wonderfully relaxing after that, right? Please?

My Tablet PC is pissing me off so much that the description got too long. Tablet post to follow later for those of you who are interested.

My right shoulder is killing me, and its not even from carrying around a giant bag of books. It started before Monday. I think it has to do mostly with how I sit with my laptop, and partially with writing hunched over a desk.
--Yesterday I downed 3 Tylanol at once, put a Tiger Balm patch on it, and still no relief. --Then before bed I took 2 Aleve that helped a little, and kept the patch on all night.
--Of course it hurts again now, I only took 1 Aleve after school today.

The Good

My physics professor is great, and she's also my adviser. The other two females in class are pre-engineering or chemistry majors, I think. But hey, they're there so I don't feel surrounded! Alas, this class is the reason I had to get the graphing calculator, and I'm not at all comfortable with it. :( I should have splurged for one when I started Cal1 in spring, but I didn't want to buy it and realize I needed a nicer one for Physics. Oh well.

Thank the FSM for British Lit. I think that course is going to be a fun diversion from math torment. The professor is very energetic and chatty and really made the classroom comfortable for us to laugh and contribute to the conversation. I left class feeling very upbeat, and not just because the girl who sits in front of me is a Whovian. (yay!)

Monday is Labor Day!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Petco and Petsmart

The Petco here where I got my birdie was the only pet store in town until today. I've been eagerly awaiting the opening of a Petsmart in this town and it opened today and I forgot to go. Petco's toys are so boring and I am too impatient to buy online, and to buy without holding things in my hand first.

Before I got Rigel there, I would go pretty often and get my heart set on one or another bird but didn't have the money/lifestyle to buy yet. I would see them degrade from happy bouncy new arrivals to quiet and unhappy little things. They even had a yellow parrotlet who was there for over a year whose bonded partner died of a sickness and eventually started plucking and was still on display until a few months ago. They have two beautiful linneolated parakeets that I wanted but were $400 each, still there 8+ months later and in the last 6 months I haven't seen them move from the same perch cuddled together looking fluffy. I visited again this week and they look double their previous weight and still sit on that same perch.

I got little Rigel there because I saw him and knew the time was right for me and if I didn't get him, he would sit in that place his whole unhappy life.

I finally went to the new PetSmart today, and its great! Open atmosphere, greater selection of toys and food, and the birds seem happier. They have mostly finches and budgies, and two quakers. All except the quakers (i think) were unclipped and flying around in their enclosures. Each cage did seem a bit small for each group of budgies, but they had nice natural wood perches and fruit out in each cage in addition to seed. They were all very active and it was so refreshing to see them flying around and not hopping from perch to perch or just sitting on the bottom.

I really regret that my baby was so severely clipped before he could fledge, but he is adventurous and likes to jump so I think he will do well when they grow out and can be clipped a bit kinder.

Also, I was being silly and couldn't find many good lolbirds, so I made some myself. Not that they're any better than what's out there already of course....

Friday, August 24, 2007

Detecting a Happy Trend

You scored as Babylon 5 (Babylon 5), The universe is erupting into war and your government picks the wrong side. How much worse could things get? It doesn't matter, because no matter what you have your friends and you'll do the right thing. In the end that will be all that matters. Now if only the Psi Corps would leave you alone.

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)


Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)


Serenity (Firefly)


SG-1 (Stargate)


Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)


Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)


Moya (Farscape)


Enterprise D (Star Trek)


Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)


Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)


Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)


FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)


Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)


Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics)
created with

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

GoBinder Lite, too lite for me

Someone on another forum told me the GoBinder lite install "only" allowed 1GB databases, and this is what I replied with:

1GB would be good enough, but according to the splash when it loads, my GoBinder Lite maxes out at 10 MB! Based on that I took a closer look at Microsoft Journal and decided it was equal to or even superior for notes. It lets me adjust the space between lines, the color of the lines, and the size of the page without that weird button to push to extend the page (which I kept missing slightly and hitting the "new tab" instead). It also has flags and a greater variety of pen thicknesses and easier to change the pen color, IMO. Also, Journal seems to not blank out on me in the middle of the notes like GoBinder. Yes I need a tablet with more processor power, I know.

I decided GoBinder is just inkable Outlook plus Journaling plus a file system. I kept it for the Outlook type functions, use Journal for notes, and I'm all grown up enough to organize my own folders.

I haven't read much on OneNote, what really are its advantages? The one thing I would like to do is have it insert basic shapes (triangles, squares, circles, arrows) which Journal doesn't really do. If I go to OneNote down the line, will it take in my Journal files and make them searchable just like notes taken directly in OneNote?


The other day I commented on a friend's blog and it helped her more than I realized it could. *Hugs*

Although I bet her painting is much better and artistic than mine, I will share this one that I finally made using my tablet PC's painting program. Of course its of my little birdy, because I have pretty much nothing else interesting to do or see these days.

Click for larger view (I think)
Free Image Hosting at

Anyways, I'm going to go back to transcribing old math notes, or at least pretend to.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Tablet Review

Things that annoy me:
First, I would appreciate if the fan didn't run almost constantly.
Second, the painting program froze/crashed twice when I was almost done with a picture of my birdie.

Anyway, it does seem to be pretty useful. I downloaded the Education Pack which has GoBinder Lite. Using that, I put my course schedule into an Outlook-type calendar. It also creates a tab for each class where I can add notes documents and store relevant web clippings and handouts downloaded from Blackboard. Sure, XP Tablet comes with a Journal almost identical to the notes in GoBinder, and I'm smart enough to manage folders myself, but hey its nice to have it all bundled in one program and its free anyway.

It also came with a few games to help hone my pen skills*. I do need to re-calibrate the pen because its tough to write with an offset like that. My goal for this weekend is to copy my last Calculus and Chemistry notes into the Tablet, as practice and as a review for the upcoming term.

*at least thats what I tell myself while wasting 30 minutes on a crossword.