The Truth About Me - Funny Image Link

Inappropriate Places for the Penis Game include baby showers and terrorist attacks....

And then, I found this interesting as well, Because I actually do wonder things like that.

Fire!

Sooo...yeah. RTFM on the fireplace please, there has to be a lever somewhere to let the smoke out. My house now smells like lingering stale smoke. This is a downgrade/upgrade from last night when it smelled thickly of firewood. We don't even have pokers or tiny shovels or anything.

I love you babe, but I told you that was a bad idea.

Meanwhile, I printed some awesome rocks from Pikes Peak onto my background paper, and printed maybe 30 pictures just from day one of last summer's vacation. So, tomorrow I can do some actual scrapbooking.

Oh!@ Also, I just finished reading False Memory by Dean Koontz. I now only have 5 of his books on my shelf that I have not read. Well, that I'm pretty sure I haven't read. My memory sucks and I'd have to get 2 or 3 chapters into it before I can be sure. I've also still not purchased Brother Odd and I really really want to read it.

Remaining unread on my shelf are: Mr. Murder, The Face, Tick Tock, The Eyes of Darkness, and Lightning

Dear Paul Bunyan: You have got to be kidding me.

Thunk
rattlerattle
.
.
.
Thunk
... Thunk...

What.The.hell?

First, it is 1:30 in the morning, why in the world would you be trying to chop wood at this hour?

Second, you can buy bundles of chopped firewood at any convenience store in town. There is a Town and Country store on every streetcorner.

Third, you are a weakling fucktard and I hope you do not breed. Not because you are a weakling, but because you are trying to chop a large log in the middle of the street. Not even the parking lot, but the street.

Fourth, did I mention you are a fucktard? Because you are, and you cannot even get the axe into the wood. Oh, there you go, you got it a whole inch into the wood. And now you can't get it out. Fucktard.

I'm not going to keep counting. Mainly because I'm not quite sure if I remember how to spell fifth and there was no reason to count anyway, but also because you are a fucktard. Die now, or at least do something useful and remove your gonads with that axe. I mean, I know I can't chop wood, but if I wanted a fire I would be smart enough to go buy wood and not pick up a random piece of frozen solid log from the treeline along the highway. You know that's what you did. Don't lie.


As I watched them give up and return to their apartment building, all I could think was that I'm glad they don't live in my building and that there's a fire hydrant right outside my window.

Winter has closed her grip. Sleep tight, my friends.

Bubble Girl

Yesterday after work we went to the house to sort and pack some more stuff. It was cold, cloudy, and rainy. While sitting on the floor of my office sorting old bills and school papers, the room brightened and turned a warm shade of orange. The sun had drooped below the cloudline as it was setting. Since there is no power at the house, it was time to load up the cars and leave. Michael left first. As I opened my door and got in, I looked up at the pinkish-orange sky. Above me, surrounding me, was the most distinct and complete rainbow I've ever seen. Each color seperated into large bands and streached unbroken across the sky. I felt like I was in a giant colorful soap bubble. I eventually pulled my eyes away, reluctantly. As I drove home, the sky became a deep dusky pink, and then grey. Eventually I could see nothing but headlights reflecting the rain on my windshield.

It was cool. I tried to take a picture with my phone, but somehow it was video instead.

Lazy, with random thoughts

I have 3 bookshelves in my car that I need to bring up and put together tonight. Well, put together at least one tonight. But all I really want to do is consume warm/hot food items. I also need to pee and take some Advil for my sore arm. Damn pushups. Damn it all.

Hey, see my countdown up there? See how low it is? See that wonderful number??!!?? Yeah, its that good.

So, to make my tummy happy, I ate a microwave Panini. Then an apple heated in the toaster oven with brown sugar. Then some hot cocoa.

The Forgotten just came on FX. Is that the movie with the stuff ripping up into the air? I think so.

Miss You

I'm going to spend the next 5 days telling you all the ways it is better when my husband is home.

He takes out the trash, because I make dinner.
He checks the mail, because I forget and the bill people don't think thats a good enough excuse.
AND he locks the door at night, because if I forget then the bad peoples might get me. *squeak*
The other night, I woke him up from his nap...
Warm and cuddly folks, warm and cuddly.
--If I hit the snooze button too many times, he will tell me, and I won't oversleep for an hour.
--Also when snoozing in the morning, he is even more warm and cuddly.

But also, there are things I can do when he's not home...
Like hanging purple curtains in the bedroom.
Or not eating out every meal, because I'm okay with easy deli sandwiches for dinner, or leftovers.
Watching tv at a reasonable volume, or *gasp* not at all!
(thats right people, I've been home since at least 6:30, and the TV has been off the whole time) --Day 2, No TV.
--I made $260 off our junk this weekend. If he was here, we would've sold it all for $50.

Busy Bee, Lonely Me

Tomorrow is the big day for our yard sale. Today was real nice out, about 75 degrees. What will the weather be like tomorrow? Windy with a high of 50. That's gonna suck. I moved as much as I could from the house to my friend's house for the sale. They live on a main street with good visibility and have yardsales all the time. Since the house doesn't have electricity anymore, I had about 45 minutes to get things together. I'll have to wake up at 7am to get the rest moved and put prices on everything before people start showing up.

I never realized how much useless junk I had. I moved a carload tonight, and I still haven't looked at the kitchen or the lawn/garden junk. Michael (The Most Loved One) authorized me to sell his paintball gun and associated gadgetry. Sweet, however everything else we are selling is mine, and I am still horribly unprepared.

Things I want to sell, but don't want to haul the 10 blocks to the yardsale:
Old Old Old recliner.
Desk, put together wrong by the Most Loved One.
Desk, damaged slightly by movers.
Bookshelf, put together wrong by The Me.
Bed, bought at flea market, never used...by anyone I know. (sat in my garage for the last 16 months)

Jesse, I'm selling your bike. I'll send you the money I get from it.

Michael (My Sweet) is on a plane this very minute, flying from Dallas to Nashville to attend a friend's funeral. I miss The Cute One (Michael) already, and I don't wanna go to bed.

Why so much?

Its amazing how you can go from a normal day making s'mores, to knowing that someone has died. A close friend of my husband has died. He's upset.

Lately, the world seems like nothing but death. Its been a bad month for former Presidents, the famous and the infamous. Several co-workers' relatives have passed (there was even a murder?!?!?). I was even late to PT this afternoon because I had to follow a funeral procession all the way from the church across the street to the gate.

Why so much?

I don't wanna!

Eddie Izzard will be in a show called The Riches on FX. Sorry, just saw the first commercial and thought you should know.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming:

I think I have worked 3 days in the last 18. So lately, I've started my wonderful days somewhere between 10am and 1pm. Tomorrow, nobody (NOBODY!) better say Good Morning. It will not (NOT!) be a Good Morning.

Mmmmm S'mores

For Breakfast!

Last night was fun. We bought a bunch of chocolate and things to dip in it. Mostly, though, we ate S'mores. Verra tasty.

New Year Resolution?
--Eat More Chocolate!

I think I can manage that.