Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Insert Swearing Here

I'm still trying to finish the lab report for the lab we did 2 weeks ago. Its due tomorrow because we didn't have lab last week and the professor gave us more time. Not that its helping me at all.

In the middle of the lab, I was having trouble with my calculator, which I hate. I didn't understand how to make it display the correlation coefficient for my data. So, in keeping with the idea that the professor is paid to be there to teach, I asked for help. In return I got ranted at in front of the whole class for not knowing how to use my calculator "by the ## week of class." This was a value that we had never been asked to find before, it was supposed to be displayed on a screen that never showed it before, and after searching through my manual later I couldn't find a single reference to it. But hey, I'm just the idiot wasting her time and my money.

So I finished taking data and gave up on analysis for the day...week...until this Monday. I did search my manual for help, but eventually broke down and took manual and calculator to her office to beg again for help. I was fairly sure I had finally found the right screen, but it was a long list of variables with no definitions anywhere. I was shaking, on the verge of a panic attack waiting outside her office while she answered other people's questions. It took so long I gave up and as I walked out I passed the person who tutors me in Calculus. "Hey, do you know which of these is corr. coef?" "Yeah, R-squared." Well damn, wasn't that so much easier than flying off the handle?

Unfortunately, I didn't sit down to work on it again until tonight, still afraid of a damn lab, and I found that I needed more help than just that. Plus, I found that I didn't take a measurement I need. Wouldn't help anyway, since I don't know how I need to use it. There's no way to get it now, of course. Its due tomorrow by 2pm, but I just can't bring myself to ask for help after getting an extra week to work on it and being yelled at and made to feel so small already. Why give her another chance? So I'm going to do the second-worst thing and turn in an unfinished lab report. ALL of my previous labs have been near-perfect, its been the only thing I've had going for me in this class and now its shit.

I feel so worthless and stupid right now. I feel like giving up on everything.

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